He said to me awhile back... "I guess you need to draw me back to you"
"I just want to get along"
"we can just go on doing what we are doing. You living in the house, I help pay the bills, and I'll keep farming"
but yet... He continues to see OW knowing how that is causing most of our problems... he doesn't call... he never asks how we are... he acts like he hates me... how do I draw him back if he never looks at me... he tells me nothing... he doesn't talk to me... how can we get along if he doesn't try... he doesn't stop to see us...
why am I still doing this?...my daughter told me yesterday that I am just breathing...and you know, she is almost right...I am getting up every morning and my first thoughts are of him...I go to work, I think of him...I get home do what I have to do for me and the girls and the house...and then I think of him...the last few weeks I just keep thinking...why am I still doing this...is there any point anymore...what I am going to do with the rest of my life...
i know that moving away from here would give me a chance to start over...maybe a chance at happiness again...or...i'll end up like my mother, alone...
i trully believe that given the chance my H and I together could make a new and better life. that if we both worked at it, we could be happy again and that we would make it...
but i also know that i cant' force him to try...i can't convince him to love me again...that i can't change how he feels...
i am stuck in a sh*t hole and have no idea how to get out or where to go from here.
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
