Imageer, Congratulations for selling the house! If you did tell her, I bet she would be excited too. I know - it's not quite the same as if you were together...
There is a new twist today. W called me a little while ago to tell me that she bought a house. As I suspected she is buying it with OW. I have no idea how this will effect things. Could be good or bad I suppose.
What was odd was that she said that she would like me to pick her up so that her and I and the kids could go see it. However, I admit that I may have misunderstood her and she may want us to go see the school she wants the kids to go to and not the house. However, at least she wants us to do it all together.
She seems excited about it and I did act happy for her and tell her congrats but really I don't know what to think of it.
M35 W37 S9 D6 M12 yrs Know 15 yrs Bomb 1/28/07 My Sitch Failure is the opportunity to start again more intelligently - Henry Ford
Imageer, I understand how it can make you feel. I will say this. It is a house, not a home. Huge difference.
She is still playing. She needs to do whatever she can to make it sound like she made the right choice. She will not be able to succeed.
You have incredible fortitude. This could be crushing to most people and you are handling it amazingly well.
Even if she was speaking of the school and not showing you the house, she still wants to share this with you and the kids. If she is wanting to have you and the children see the house with her, she is still holding on to you. I cannot imagine how she keeps in this bizarre fantasy world but all we can do is be loving and patient and hope it doesn't last too long.
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
There isn't really much new going on. I am noticing a slight change in my W lately though. She is calling the kids every night when I have them now. If we happen to be out, she calls multiple times until she finally gets to talk to them. When she talked to them tonight she told them that she had bought them gifts. She bought them gifts for no apperent reason. I wonder if she is startign to miss the kids more when she doesn't have them or if she is feeling more guilty.
M35 W37 S9 D6 M12 yrs Know 15 yrs Bomb 1/28/07 My Sitch Failure is the opportunity to start again more intelligently - Henry Ford
I agree with PH and Grace. There is bad guilt and good guilt. Guilt about not being "present" with your children is good guilt, especially if it is felt internally and not brought on by someone forcing it on them.
I still think this is an illness. Yes, it is one that can be overcome with time but remember that temptation (which MLC is full of) is relentless. Rarely is it worth it when you give in. Initially it might be fun but what comes with giving in is usually very unpleasant and can cause depression.
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
I haven't been posting much since nothing much has been happening and I've been very busy getting ready to move. However, I thought I would post an update.....
Things have been odd lately but in a good way. I've talked to her several times almost every day and our conversations have been enjoyable. Granted, most of our conversations have either been about selling the house or the fact that S8 is struggling in school but still the conversations have been good.
W and a friend came over to the house today to pick up some stuff that I'm giving to W because I will not have room for it. The three of us laughed and joked and it wasn't awkward at all. It is the first time she has been here since she left for her own place last August. I had everything that she was talking in the garage and she made no effort to go inside. This didn't bother me at all but what I did find odd is that she heard the dog bark on the other side of the garage door but she didn't open the door to see him or ask to see him at all. The dog is 12, W and I bought him when he was 8 weeks old. She has always loved the dog and has always been an animal lover. She hasn't seen the dog since last August and as far as I can tell, she hasn't even mentioned him. It's very odd.
The other day I got an email from W and it was the strangest email so far. It said......
Quote:
You have to try these!!
Maynards Juicy Squirts Sours green and purple package
SO yummy
That's all it said and it was only addressed to me.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around this one. It would seem that she is sitting at her desk eating candy and thinking about me enough that it inspired her to send me an email. It was also the first time I had heard from her in 2 days. I'm scratching my head over this one.
M35 W37 S9 D6 M12 yrs Know 15 yrs Bomb 1/28/07 My Sitch Failure is the opportunity to start again more intelligently - Henry Ford
I wonder if it would be to hard (emotionally) for her to see the dog. It's easier (?) to pretned animals don't exist when they cause us turmoil. I suppose for some of our WAS's it's easier to do that with people too.
Glad to hear that you've had some good convos and a few laughs. I'm curious about your convos regarding S8 struggling in school, does she ask or do you offer?
