I can relate to the "friends with the ex" mantra...
My STBXW wants to be friends too. I cant say I see that happening. More maybe as an acquaintence now, and more for the kids than anything. I dont see how someone who you invested so much of your future and life with, (regardless of whose is at fault for the split) and hurt you, can you be friends with.
Even in forgiveness, you never forget. And how many of us can actually look at our WAS and say to ourselves..."Okay, I can be friends and nothing more..."
Maybe in time, a long time, it could happen. And I, for one, am not a mean person and do not hate..so I can be "friends", but not in the true sense of the word.
Not sounding pessimistic, and not trying to hijack, either...just someone who feels when its time to "go dark..LRT, etc", if you are able to GAL without the WAS around, maybe being "friends" isnt in the cards.....
And, JMC, I also believe OP helps in no way shape or form. My STBXW thinks she has found "the next one" and has moved full speed ahead with her R. But I still get the occasional call about fixing this, babysitting for that...that is not trying to be friends to me..thats more like being a doormat.
