Thanks for stopping by my thread!! I know what you mean about seeking out other DB'ers who also have very little contact, or absolutely no contact!! For a long time I was worried about that, "how can I show my changes if we have absolutely no contact?" But then I shifted my focus to really working on myself and looking at my issues and making changes. I actually appreciate all this time I have to do that work. I think I need it.
I read most of your first thread, and then the last part of this one. So I might get things mixed up with the chronology. And I may say stuff that has already been said by others!! Please forgive!!
A couple things I noticed:
- It sounds like GF is really, really, really, really confused about who she is, what she believes, and what she wants. I am going to give you the same advice that I gave myself. I think the most loving thing you can do right now, as a friend, GF, and human being, is to give her the time and space she has asked for to figure herself out. I honestly think the more you remove yourself from the situation, the less she can blame you for anything, and the more she has to look at herself. The drama that's going on with her current GF/ex-GF and religion and everything is something she has to figure out for herself, by herself. Anything you say to try to convince her that she should believe the same thing as you or be with you will only make her push you away. I think that is the essence of LRT. You can still DB while you are doing all of this!
- It seems like most of your posts are about GF, and speculating about her GF. But from what I understand, whether our spouse/SO/whatever is involved with someone or not, it actually shouldn't affect our DBing. Also, what about K??? What are you doing to make yourself happy and GAL and work on yourself?
Do you feel like there is an intuitive voice telling you what to do? If so, what does it say?
I am not sure that this is helpful.... this is just what I noticed. ((HUGS)) transformer
