i'm hanging in. actually better than i thought. H finally went back to his apt and i'm ok. i thought i would be a big mess but i'm still kicking!
and i'm definitely a believer! i've been praying like never before. and maybe it won't get him to come back to me but at least it will help me get through and give me strength. if there's any other believers out there say a little extra prayer for me tonight. i need it!!
i did go to the mediator with him tonight. it was weird to say the least. to break down our life together into this whole financial issue is very weird. i didn't sign any papers, we just talked. it seems reasonable and economical so i'll give it shot. i decided to stay a good person. i did and will continue to do the right thing. i don't want to be one of those bitter divorced man-hater ladies. and i think i do want to be friends with him someday. i don't want to take him for everything he's got. plus he happens to be very generous right now (guilt maybe??) so i'll take advantage of that!
and the quick fix thing isn't really going to work out anyway. did anyone know that in new york you can't cite irreconcilable differences?? you only have 3 choices...cruel & inhuman treatment, adultery, or abandonment. he hasn't done any of those things. so he was really surprised to hear from the mediator that he would have to file separation papers and we would live apart for 1 year before we can legally get divorced. hahaha!!! he won't be getting his quick fix afterall! and he will legally be the "abandoner" so more leverage for me! sorry if i sound crass i'm just grabbing onto anything that makes me feel better right now.
i'm flying out in the morning to visit my family in ohio. i need a little unconditional love right now and who better than mom to give that?! unfortunately she doesn't own a computer and the H has the laptop so i won't be online for a couple of days. just don't want anyone to think i did anything drastic!
have a good weekend everyone. and again thank you so much for the support. this was an ok day but i'm sure there will be some more bad ones. you will all be in my prayers. bless you.
Me: 31 H: 29 T: 10 yrs M: 4 1/2 yrs 01/08: MLC 03/17/08: H moved out no kids 3 dogs
and i think i do want to be friends with him someday. i don't want to take him for everything he's got. plus he happens to be very generous right now (guilt maybe??) so i'll take advantage of that!
