Saffie, thanks for your advice! These last few months have been a time of reflection for me, and I have realized that there are several areas where I could use improvement as a wife. However, there is one thing I know that contributed to his having an affair. About 2.5 years ago, I became friends with a guy and we emailed back and forth, saw each other alot at the gym, etc. I realized I was attracted to him, but we continued emailing for about three months. I was miserable about my behavior the whole time; although there was nothing inappropriate on the surface, my feelings were wrong and I finally ended it.
My husband found some of the emails a couple of weeks later and was furious. After talking to the guy, he believed that nothing happened beyond the emails, but the damage to his trust in me was done. His affair began six months later, and I don't know that he would have done it had he not been so hurt by what I did.
It's weird to be sharing this with strangers, but I think it's helpful to know that I had done something like that shortly before the affair. For me, it makes guilt something I've really had to deal with. Anyway, I'm glad to see your marriage has been restored! Have a great day!
