Broken Tree WAW- MLC

[Broken Tree]

Man, Sleeper you are right on key here. This is exactly what I am getting. Everything is horribly my fault. My L talked to her L today and they want to get the four of us together and smooth things out like who pays what bills. Her L also said a R is not in the offering. Kinda bummed at that but who knows what could happen.

Kind of a bummer day. I feel like I am getting the slow blade.

Thanks for your note.

[sleeper]

BT, here's a two edged sword for you:

Good News; Her anger won't last forever.

Bad News; It was about one year post-bomb before my W's anger faded. She just recently verbalized, "I'm not angry at you anymore." (Blew me away because it was the first time she admitted anger towards me and indicated on some level she was aware that she had been expressing her anger over the past year).

This isn't going to be over anytime soon. Don't even let yourself think of reconcilliation now. You'll only get your hopes up and be disappointed.

Decide what you want.

Get a plan.

Commit yourself to it.

I decided I want my marriage. My plan was to become the better man and wait her (and her mlc) out. I am still committed to it 16 months later and things look better all the time. I still don't let myself consider reconcilliation. Not yet.

You must become the slow blade. Her mlc is the shield.

[Broken Tree]

Thanks Sleeper. So she filed in August and you you guys are still together with hope. Wild. My W has been angry for quite some time. I don't think it will ever go away and I am really starting to believe that she does not love me anymore. Her L said there was no change for reconciliation. I can't believe she filed in August and you guys are still working on it. If my wife files I am done!

[sleeper]

It's complicated BT,

Yes she filed in August. D could have been final in January in our state. So why aren't we divorced?

Yes I'm still working on it. She is still thinking on it (I think). Saw her tonight. for some reason she can't keep her eyes off my biceps. Mlcers are very confused and many don't know what they want (crisis = cross = crossroad = choice).

I too felt if "x" happens, I'm done. It happened, I wasn't done. Then I thought, well if "y" happens, I'm done. It happened too, I wasn't done. Will "z" happen? Don't know. will I be done? H*ll no!

That's why I say YOU have to decide what you want and commit yourself to it no matter what happens. Saying you are done if X happens is letting circumstances make life altering decisions for you (and your children). Is that any way to live your life? Are we amoebas being sloshed around in the surf?

"If you can keep your head when all around you are losing theirs, then you shall be a man, my son." T. S. Elliot?

Who is keeping their head and who is losing theirs in your sitch, BT?

[Broken Tree]

Well said Sleeper. She was quite shocked that I went to the L and asked her to call W's L. Kinda like a change of events.

You are quite right. Until the sitch presents itself you never know how you are going to react. My W is all over the place but if I was a betting man (and drinking man) I would say she is done with me. I will give it a good fight.

Thanks for stopping by again.

How are you doing?