Does H not realize how bad I'm hurting?? I'm so scared, I just never thought he would ever leave me especially for OW, H used to tell me that he would not ever look at someone else because he didn't want to loose me. Now this!! My heart is breaking, I thought I was being strong & now I feel so weak. Knowing that after the 12th I'll probably never see him again. H is my family & I miss him so bad. I know I'm sounding pretty pathetic right now but it just hit me when I got his email.
I just want to say something to him to let him know how I feel but I'm sure that is not the right thing to do. I want to call him so bad I can't stand it!! I'm sorry I sound so bad but right now but I'm really hurting & this is so hard!!!
The answer he DOES NOT. He cannot allow himself to realize how much he's hurting you! Esp if he is in MLC. MLCers will have their share of all the pain and damage they've caused, but not until they're out of the fog and ready to face it. Right now you should think of him as an alien in your H's body.
Hold on, nlt, brace yourself, don't call him, you don't want to call an alien and talk to him in marcian, do you? He is not your friend right now! If you want your friend back you have to wait the alien out.
Sorry, I cannot post much, still have comp problem and very limited time, will talk to you later.
((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) lots and lots of them.
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
stella, Thank you so much for posting! This site is great & I wish I had found it sooner!!! You are so right, he is an alien right now & no I don't want to talk to an alien. I dread so much him coming to get his things, it seems so final! I hope he will come out of the fog soon!!!
Thanks for the HUGS!!! I sure do need them right now. Hugs back at you too!!! I know you are going through hard times also & believe me, I'm supporting you too!! I just lost it last night & didn't know how to handle it. My dogs have been a great comfort!! Although one of them is having some kidney failure & I am concerned, I just can't loose her right now!!!
I did not respond to my H email. He asked if I had done the taxes but I have not so I really don't see any need to reply to him right now. He said he would get in touch with me before April 11th & schedule a time. How's that??
Can you make some other plans for when he'll be there? Start to GAL and make him wonder what you're up to. Make sure the house looks great and when you do see him, make sure you look great too!
I actually have to be here when he is here. I've changed the locks on the house & right now, as stella said he is an alien & I really don't trust him being here without me being here. I plan on trying to get some friends to be here. I hope to get my friend from my home town & her husband who is chief of police. That way there will not be any trouble & if there is at least he would know how to handle it. The first day he will be here I'm sure we will be by ourselves, we both have to go over paperwork & stuff like that. I'm guessing that he will have someone here on Saturday to help him load stuff. I sure hope the OW doesn't come, surely he wouldn't do that!!! She will not be welcomed here & I'll have to tell him that if she shows up. He has done some stupid things lately but surely he wouldn't be that stupid!!!
Hi nlt, I was out of town with S11 last week for his spring Break.
Sorry to hear the D will be final so soon. There is always hope if you are willing to wait. Don't initiate contact with H. Let him contact you. When he does come by the house to get his things, be friendly around him, smile if you can. It will be the hardest thing you've ever done - you will have to prepare yourself mentally for this beforehand. Clean the house, make sure you look good. If he starts to say mean things, do not get caught up in what he's saying, just validate his feelings by saying "I'm sorry you feel that way..." This doesn't mean that you agree with it. If you have started any new activities, casually talk to him about some of the things you've done without making it too obvious. Say goodbye in a friendly tone when he leaves and wish him a good day. If you can do any of this, it will make him curious and get him thinking. Anything is possible. Less than 2 months ago, H told me it was over and he was going to file for D after he found out I contacted OW, and just yesterday he talked to me about the possibility of moving back here and taking things very slow again. This is all due to DB. I don't think it's totally over with OW but he is having serious doubts.
nlt read other posts - this has helped me a great deal and keep posting.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
Hi addie, I hope you had fun on spring break. I'm sure it was nice to get away with you S11 for a little while.
I didn't respond to H email about him being here on the 11th. I plan to have a friend here with me on the 12th when he actually moves his things out. I'm sure on the 11th we will go through files & things like that.
I'm so excited that you H may move back. That is great!! I did not contact the OW sometimes I wish I would have but I just didn't know what to say or do at that time. Now he is with her & I can't do anything about it. It's driving me crazy to think of all the things we have done & be through together & now she has him & will have some of these things that I gave him. I do hope he comes out of this soon & I hope you are right & it is the beginning of the end of their R since they have moved in together. I'm not sure if he has a job out there or not right now. If he does that might keep him there longer. But he picked up & moved for her he might pick up & move back. Right now I just don't know. Thank you for all your support & I will keep posting & reading! Keep me up to date on your sitch!
Great post with loads of usual information. I'm learning lots about my own sitch just by reading about others and the responses to them. Taking bits from each post about how to deal with it and nice to know I'm just the same as everyone else.
GL to everyone.
Just wish it wasn't a 10 - 14 days delivery for the book as not in shops to get quicker...arrrghhh
It's only one week before he gets all his stuff out of the house. Busy day on Tuesday, I have to go to court, the D will be final that day & I have a job interview. Wow! So many emotions!!! I have a girlfriend that is supposed to come stay with me the weekend he will be here to get his things. I just dread him moving out, I thought when we moved we would move together. I still think he was so stupid to quit his great job & move for this OW when he doesn't really know her. I never dreamed he would loose his mind like that, what in the world does this OW have hanging over him?
