In the past I had trouble trusting H even though he's been faithful (except for a too close for confort friendship AKA mini EA that has ended). I haven't trusted him so when he told me he wanted a D I made him promise that he wouldn't date anyone until the D became final. Being somewhat self-centered I didn't think about how that promise would make H feel. He told me this weekend that it only goes to show that I don't trust him and that the D wasn't so he could find someone else. The D for him is a last resort because he said he can't see any chance of making our M work if we stay together.
I told him the grass isn't greener on the other side referring to whats out there isn't so great. He said "I haven't even thought of doing anything and you already have me on someone elses lawn"
So now I walk around with my tail between my legs thinking about the dumb things I have said and done in 10 years while wondering if there's a snowballs chance in hell of this marriage surviving and improving. I'm willing to do so much but he doesn't believe me and now I'm not too sure he's willing.
Jen
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
