replace you...not a chance! he is really hung up on re-living his you youth or playboy-ism. you are a person i have the utmost reguard and respect for. you are so awsome the way you have come thru this. replace mom...uhmmm...i dont think so...your kids well its the newness of it all and daddy's euphoria washing over them. they know where their safety net is, they know where stability lies. if he tries to take those kids from you well...he will find out just how big your "extended" family really is. forcing ow down his parents throats....childish.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
Went to see August Rush today - the movie - it was so wonderfully touching...we must have faith and believe in God and fate !
I saw the Mist and was thinking the same thing!
J/K
I am sorry for the pain Cinder. Time and all that yadda yadda crap.
For awhile there, W was doing all the fun things with our boys, and while I know I wanted them to have a wonderful time, to remember it later fondly, it also twisted in my stomach that I was no longer a part of that.
I am glad that you are keeping yourself occupied. I am glad that this isn't crippling you.
For you're posts you have come a long way in seeing yourself plainly in the mirror. You have seen the things that you don't like in yourself and have worked on them. You are a deeply caring and amazing woman.
You're husband might or might not see that, I hope that one day he does.
But someone will.
The good part is that right now, you don't validate yourself based upon someone else in your life. You have aces in your sleeve because of this.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
My, what wonderfull and sweet things you wrote about me, I am so flattered !
To be honest, I think I am just being me...the person I found lurking inside ! I am happy with who I am. Sad that H does not see it, but I know now that I have made changes and found myself again. It was not enough for my H to come rushing back. But it's more than enough for me. This is the point we realize this is not about us. We are all that we are, the fact that they don't come back, has nothing to do with who we are, but everything to do with who THEY are. That's ok. Everything moves at it's own pace.
I thank you for your kind and caring post ! You are a wonderful man.
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
I'm sorry for the hard time you're having now. Of course this still hurts....don't feel badly about that. And, unfortunately there is no quick and easy fix to the pain ( how I prayed for that!).
I loved your first post. I'm so proud of you and how far you've come. I'm proud of the sincere and honest effort for you to move forward in your own life, and interest in it as well. Not just GAL...it goes much beyond that.
I will say this. The pain. So many days I SWORE that it would never go away. I could never imagine it. I thought the day that I would be "over" so much, when things didn't hurt anymore, when I could honestly look forward with no desire for the past....was a dream. It seemed impossible.
But, a dear friend of mine put it the best. The time when you just accept the pain, the hurt, the sadness as a part of you for now, is when it starts to let go of you, little by little. And, it worked.
It falls away from you in pieces, almost imperceptable. Until one day, you're sitting enjoying the sunshine of your life, and something little will remind you of the past. And, you'll find that it doesn't bring you much pain at all, maybe a twinge because of sentiment. It doesn't bring you anger, passion, or any care at all. It just is. And, you'll be amazed at how you got to that place.
Look how far you have come forward and upward. This too shall pass.
Cinders, you have been real this whole time and that is incredible. Many of us put false faces on to handle difficult points in our lives but you are genuine. That is a rare quality and much to be admired.
Hugs to you little sis!
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
