I am not sure how you can completely go dark with the connection with the kids being in the middle of you and the W. If I understand the meaning of going dark. It would be hard. However, you can use the LRT to let her know where you stand and that this is it and no more pressure, no more chasing, no more R talks, etc., and then detach from her in every way. If you really detach.....then you won't have to convince her that you are not playing a game.....then going dark (as much as possible) will be the natural end result. If you feel that you are ready to turn lose, it will be easier for you to detach, but I wonder if you aren't just feeling emotional fatigue and wanting a change so badly that you are trying to convince yourself you are ready to turn lose. I base that on what your posts have said and how you are on an emotional rollercoaster right now. I know it sounds as though you are being told the same thing over and over, but time and patient is really the key here. Go back and read what we have told you since you started this tread. Put it into action and keep at it. One ball game doing what you did is fine, but it will take a lot of ball games before she starts to get the message is real. But, I believe you can do it. You are trying to gain the tools and put them to use. That is a lot more that some people do and it says a lot about what kind of person you are. Keep on keeping on doing what we have suggested. Do go back and study your DB.
Take care.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
