well, here we are, the anniversary of the bomb. do the rest of you remember the day like it was yesterday? because I swear I remember every single moment of it. guessing that will pass over time.
will muddle thru the day. am really busy so that helps. but yeah, I am sad. but also not in the same place as last year, so that is a good thing. gonna take a little walk around the sadness, let myself feel it and explore it for a bit, then will let it go.
and going to hug my kids a little tighter today. this isn't the life I wanted for them, but I know I can still offer them so much. I can't offer them what i wanted, that part isn't in my hands, but I can be the best mom I can be and that is something. hopefully the stats won't hit them too hard in the end.
the good thing that has come from all of this I suppose is meeting my IC (found her a year ago today...yep, no flies on me! lol). she is amazing, and I have grown so much. so I can say in spite of my sadness, I'm also very happy because I am a better person today than I was a year ago. so in a way, I guess I'll celebrate that fact, as well as mourne the losses I feel.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
I will say even after 5 years Monday was a day that I did a lot of remembering the exact things that happened. But I do think next year will be better. I am just the end of last year and this feeling able to cope with going back into the dog activities where I will see ex and his ow on a regular basis. I wasn't ready for that for quit some time!
I know you will be fine but I'm thinking of you today.
Hugs.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
It's good you are accentuating the positives. It is a period we can use for individual growth and it seems as though your IC is helping you with that. It's better than time wasted on bitter sadness and misery. Some never move on in a healthy manner, they keep it bottled up and let it affect them longer than it should. You are making the best of accepting it for what it is and making the best out of it for yourself and kids.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
I bet everyone here remembers when they got the bomb dropped on them as if it were yesterday. For me it was over 5 years ago and I still remember every detail and because it was such a traumatic event in our lives, I think that memory will always be with us. What changes is us and the way to we see things. That day along with other milestones become less painful as every year passes.
It is an amazing journey M. When sadness comes to us we also are blessed with having the best people come into our lives. I'm so glad you're doing so well!
