Hi T, I saw your post to me on MrsH's thread. I have read your thread and honestly it just about mirrors my situation.
H and I have reconciled and the funny thing is both our L's called it! The day we were at our 4 way meeting the L's left us alone in a room so they could make the next court date and when they got back H's L said "so are you two ready to reconcile?" I almost burst into tears and left the room.
About a week later in the middle of D5's tball game H told me he made a mistake and wanted to work on M.
My bomb was the same time yours was...12/15/06 and I was served in 3/07, court in 6/07 and we have been working on M since. We go to counseling now but during the bomb H wanted no part of it...H didn't care that our children were hurting and I was trying to take care of a house, work full time and take care of our 9 month old!! I was in shock because I thought we had a good marriage! We were on a family vacation when he told me he wasn't happy and was leaving. We came home early from vacation and he left.
He really had a personality change and no matter what I said or did I was always blamed for something. H lost two jobs, went MLC crazy (dyeing hair, tanning, wearing gold jewelry...)
Lived between young OW's house with her kids and his parents when he had our kids.
I felt like I was going to lose everything including my house. This was truly upsetting to me because I didn't want to take my daughters out of their home. Luckily I have a good job as a teacher so the pay is good.
As far as DBing...I just talked to H when I had to, and only about the kids. I did not start arguments and when he did I told him I didn't deserve to be treated this way and when he could talk to me calmly he could call me back.
I never called him and when he called sometimes I would let it ring. I stayed dark as much as possible. When I did have to see him I always looked my best and kept a smile on my face.
As far as counseling goes...go for the kids. there is nothing wrong with you saying you don't want a D...say it matter of factly.
I focused too much on the OW and compared myself to her all the time...don't do that!! Even now my H tells me it was fun and exciting in the beginning and then her true colors came through and he realized what he was missing.
I will try to help you anyway I can...ask me anything! It is very interesting to see things through the eyes of a MLCer now that we can talk about it!!
