Good. NO ARGUING. So what are you going to do when you get angry, before you open your mouth? Try breathing, counting to ten, snapping a rubberband (if you don't want to do that in front of her leave the room). What worked for me (mostly) was to breathe and count. Then I would leave the room (with a smile or at least a neutral look on my face) and sometimes I would do crunches or pushups (the pushups not so good for me as I can't do that many) or leave the house to walk.
Grace, I missed you..How is everything going? Been thinking of you. I still have the rubber band around my risk that you asked me to put on before I went to Colorado. Tonight has been great so far. Been sitiing and talking like human beings and everything. W made a wonderful dinner and 2 out of my 3 boys eat very calmly with us. AMAZING. Are these baby steps.
Keep the talk light and easy. No R talk. If she does, change the subject or go to the bathroom. Have a strategy for if/when she turns on you unexpectedly. Do not hang around or smother her because things seem to be going well. Just play......it.......cool.
And DO NOT bring up anything about the past or the future. Live in the present moment only.
If you can get through one evening, that is a big step. Focus on that for now.
You CAN do it.
Me: 54 Her: 50 and sexy as hell M: 32yrs T: 34yrs Bomb: Sept 26-07 "lost our emotional connection" Bomb 2: Dec 25-07 she's "not feeling desire" She asked if she could come home Apr 26-08! Everything's GREAT!
got it minky. Just kinda hangin in my room now watchin American Idol. I will take tonight as a success, leave it at that and put it in the bank. thanks for the support.
Yeah, I didn't see her much after dinner. She was on the phone, sometimes two phones at the same time. The boys were playing video games. I was in my room doing a little work and watching TV. I put the younger boys to bed and saw her in S12's room and we said goodnight. Having kind of a down day just thinking about all this. Gotta stop thinking and work on me. Having lunch with Mom and Sister today. Should be fun. No future talk or arguments this morning. Unfortunily our L are talking today. The message from mine is i do not want a D and never want to be more than three feet from my boys. She can do whatever she wants for we can not stop her anyway.
Well no arguements for the last two days. W tried to start after dinner but I took lady Grace's advice and smiled and walked away. Mink told to to imagine I was rubbing oil on a Brazilian babe on the beach when my wife started going off. I am learning from all of you.
She started arguments with evryone of the kids but I did not fall into the trap.
Very quite here. No argueing. She decided to argue with the kids instead. For the first time this is starting to effect my S12. Very sad. He is not bad just acting out for the first time ever. The kid is a real sweat heart. W has been very nice since I went to the L on Tuesday.
Me: 54 Her: 50 and sexy as hell M: 32yrs T: 34yrs Bomb: Sept 26-07 "lost our emotional connection" Bomb 2: Dec 25-07 she's "not feeling desire" She asked if she could come home Apr 26-08! Everything's GREAT!
