Sent my WW a 'goodbye, thanks for the memories, good luck, hope it was worth it' email last night. This after she told me she talked to OM yesterday. Truly, I can't take it anymore. Unless there is a MAJOR development, I am on the divorce-filing clock. T-minus 6 days and counting.
In my heart, I KNOW she KNOWS that she loves me, that I love her, and that we CAN make it through this. But she is just too weak to take the final step away from OM. It is just the saddest thing to see someone throwing everything away for an A. I guess you all know this already huh???
I told her months ago if she was addicted to drugs, I would stick by her side all the way. Well, she is addicted to this man, and I stuck by her, but unfortunately at some point, people have to help themselves. She has to help herself.
Ironically, it was her enabler best friend (who has had her own A, is a recovering alcoholic, and has a ton of other issues) that told me that people with addictions many times just CAN'T help themselves at all. They need help. But it is the helpers that have to decide how much they can take. Are they willing to let the destructive behavior of the addict kill them too? How long do you let a drunk take the keys to the car...and watch it happen? They are going to kill someone. (My wife is not an alcoholic - in case you are wondering.)
She is not literally going to kill anyone with this addiction, but she has already killed the spirits and outlook of 2 Betrayed Spouses, 2 kids from OM/OMW's marriage, and is 6 days away from killing the spirits of our three kids. Include the screwed up lives of my W and OM, and that makes NINE lives that are directly impacted by the selfish A. Don't get me going about extended family, friends, etc. The damage is huge.
So, I can't let her crush my soul, spirit, and heart anymore. She had a choice. I tried to get the 'keys' away from her and help her realize she was going to destroy so many people, but she is her own worst enemy and doesn't even know it.
Just venting here - good to type it out. I will be JUST FINE. My friends and even my IC and tell me I am a 'catch' and deserve better so I am going to go through the rest of my day today with that in mind.
