When it all starts to go downhill, I feel like I unravel so quickly and so easily! Everything I know goes right out the window and I start doubting everything. But you're right about bouncing back quicker.
I offered the money to sort out the financial sitch, so I feel better having done that, even though it wasn't accepted. I don't know if H will ever find out about it, and I don't really care if he does or not. Honestly, I can't stand on my own living here. Housing is far too expensive. I could be more independent if I were to move. I had finally made the decision to stay here a while longer since my friends are all here and the kids and I have our lives here and are happy. Now that I am faced with this, I may have no choice.
I have no financial arrangement with H. He is not the one supporting me - my MIL is. It's very complicated. She doesn't want to me leave and doesn't want us to D, but I can't stay in this sitch forever.
Spoke to my friend again today. Her H also told her that my H said that it's over between us. Why do I continue to hold out hope when he's said it over and over again? Am I in denial? There is no doubt about it that he's having an MLC, but he's slowly changing back to himself - being slightly more responsible financially for us, admitting to others that what he's doing is wrong. I'm starting to believe that he knows what he's talking about and that there is no hope left for us, nor will there ever be.
So tired of this but however ready I may be for D, I still don't think it's the best option.
