Wondering if my situation is common

[saffie]

Jasmine,

Use this time effectively to think about WHY your H felt the need to have an A. Identifying the why's can start to give you the solutions to the M failure. You can establish whether you think they are things you are willing to change, (if you can).

An example I would say in you situation may be that you have a very 'kiddie' orientated M. I have four children and that happened to me. I lost focus of my H in the every day survival of life in a busy household. I was all cuddled out by children by day, so wanting space in the evening. I expected my H to be a 'grown up' and just know, without ever talking about this stuff, that that's why I didn't want a cuddle. Obviously there was a lot of other stuff as well but this is just one example.

Recognising my share of what happened and holding my hands up meant my H met me half way and reconciling was so much easier.(Still bloody hard work though and peicing appears to me to be a M long thing).

Now, maybe in my instance, that was just because I actually did have a lot to hold my hands up to and I could be way off base with you. If that is so I apologise.

My H 'came back' very quickly compared to nearly all the different scenarios I have seen on here. Your H's pattern is much more usual.

I wish you much luck and hope that sharing with the good folks on here will help you start to work on at least diminishing or channeling some of your pain. It hurts so badly and I am sorry you are here.