I guess I found that once I read about the stages of MLC, and more the symptoms, it allowed me to see that what is going on w/ my H is not about me - it is totally about him, the A, the moving out w/out telling me, the continued A, the lies, the spending, losing his job, the list goes on and on. Reading that this is something he has to figure out and that I can't help, hurry or do anything to change, it made me feel better about myself and let me put down the burden of responsibility for what is happening to him.
Of course, it is still very hard, and I miss him so much, but detaching has become easier, and that has helped my sanity.
Try to put down the load and let him figure this one out for himself. He came back partway, he could very well come back all the way, but it's up to you whether you will be there. You can't make him figure this out any faster or any easier, you just have to take care of yourself. Likely he is very confused, very lost, very scared and doesn't understand what is happening to him or why. Likely he does not intend to hurt you, he is just so focused on himself that he can't see how it hurts you. And thinking he is nearly out of it is going to cause you alot of disappointment. You just can't tell when he will come out of it for good, so do yourself a favor and don't try to map out the timeline - I tried and it doesn't work.
I'm thinking of you and your kids. Take care. Stay strong. Let go.
FA
What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.
FA:43, H:42 D:7 M:10 yrs, T:24 yrs EA:?, PA:1/06 S:3/07 EA/PA ongoing Aborted attempt to move home 07/08
