Hi! I'm a newcomer,so I hope I'm posting this correctly! I guess I'll start with a bit of information about my situation. I'm 26, my husband is 29, and we've been married almost 7 years. We have three precious children (7,4, and 3). Last July, I became concerned that he was interested in a woman (she's 25) very close to my family. I confronted him about it, but he denied that they were anything more than friends. I knew they were talking on the phone and texting alot, and I spoke to him (gently but firmly) every day about how uncomfortable I was with it and how it could lead to something more (she had an affair that lasted for a year about two years ago). He continued to deny that anything inappropriate had or would happen. On October 29, I learned that they had been having an affair the entire time I had been suspicious. The affair ended (her decision, I think), and my husband moved out three weeks later. He is not talking about a divorce, has not seen a lawyer, and does not want to talk about the future of our marriage. We are friendly to each other, he sees the children most days, and he still takes care of things around the house (like light roof work, etc.) without me asking him to. As painful as it is to say (or type :), I think he is still getting over the woman with whom he had the affair, and I don't think he is emotionally ready to deal with our marriage or with me. He acknowledges that what he did was wrong, but he is not repentant. What I'm wondering is, is this common? Is it likely that he will need perhaps quite a bit of time to get over her and the whole experience before he can make decisions about us? I know everyone is different, and I'm trying really hard to be longsuffering and a good wife in spite of everything that has transpired. The last few months have been so emotionally devastating, and I have found myself thinking, Is this really my life? I didn't realize that pain like this existed apart from the death of a loved one. Anyway, I hope I have made sense. I'm a little surprised that I could summarize it this much. Times in life like this are full of such significance and hold such potential for changing all dreams and preconceived notions about life and relationships that it seems almost blasphemous to not take hours writing about it. But who would want to read all that?
