Wow Joie you sound so much like me..I loved having my H sleep next to me even if we did nothing it just helped feeling him beside me. So that's why I hated it so much when he moved to the couch. I felt like I really lost him then. You sound so strong and your sitch sounds very similar to mine.I'm so glad things worked out for you.
Me: 36 H: 34 2 D's: 10+13 Married: 13 yrs(Together 15) Found out about A-Jan 08 Finally ended April 08..I hope?? Struggling to co-exist in peace
I hated it so much when he moved to the couch. I felt like I really lost him then
Yes, yes, yes!!! I missed him so much when he moved to the couch. My H moved about a month before I found out about the PA (he probably moved when it went from EA to PA). I was so confused!!! Even after I found out, I still missed him.
And you pegged it, Joie is amazing! She is way onto piecing, but hangs around to help us lost souls.
You guys think too much of me. I'm still here cause I'm sort of afraid to move to piecing! It's tough over there!
Originally Posted By: hurtmom
H has told several of our friends he is afraid to come back to the marriage and have things not work and then to be left alone. States that is why he wont leave OW.
I got this from my H in a different format. We were having an R talk before the A was over. Long story short, he was afraid that the changes he saw in me were temporary and if he recommitted to me, and things went back to the way they were, then "OW would be gone". He thought what they had was that good. I did show him that I changed. But it takes time...
Finding the stuff in your H's car is tough. Those triggers will fade over time and get less painful. Focus on the present, and the future, not the past!
H came over this am, he didnt want to go anywhere so we just hung out around the house. He was only here about 2 1/2 so it was pretty good. Things went great today!! I made us lunch we hung out I was happy, cheerful, talked to him about work. NO R talk finally so that was good. I was much more affectionate then I have been...hugged him a few times and we kissed. I feel like a high school kid saything that but it's been a LONG time!! He seemed to enjoy being here for once but when he left he seemed pretty down again. I'm sure he didnt want to go to work. Said he would try to be back tom. night so I could get out of the house and do soemthing but if not definately on saturday. I really hope this is what he wants, it felt so good to be connected again I dont want to get disappointed! OH one last thing he told me today that the PA is over it's just an EA now. Not sure I totally believe him but he brought it up I never asked...maybe just maybe there is a shred of hope left for us
I'm so happy for you that sounds like such wonderful progress..I really need to take a cue from those of you who are applying DB principles and making it work. Seems like all I do is question H and fight with him.I need to make him not regret the choice he made in returning to our family and to me.
Me: 36 H: 34 2 D's: 10+13 Married: 13 yrs(Together 15) Found out about A-Jan 08 Finally ended April 08..I hope?? Struggling to co-exist in peace
I have about a month on you. I found out about affair Dec. 9th. Dont be hard on yourself I have just recently found it within my self to really start DB'ing and I have days where I still cant do it. I hope he is NOT lying to me about the PA. I want to believe him so bad but I have absolutely no reason to. I feel good about today and just hope it will continue.
H came over for about an hour this am on his way to work (first ever) we had a nice time. I had plans to go out tonight invited him to go but he didnt want to. (went with SIL) Instead he went to his parents house and spent the evening with our son!!! Fist time he has done that in a long time to especially on a friday night. H is coming over tomorrow afternoon/evening (that's his scheduled days with our son) Then he told his mother tonight he would pick up our son and bring him back to our house on sunday as I have to work...that way I dont have to pick him up when I get out!! Also hasent done that in a long time.
So there are a lot of positive signs here BUT when H came over today he had guilt written all over his face!! I'm not sure if he stayed with OW last night or what. He asked that I call him sometime this evening..tried to call and NO ANSWER imagine that. I know it's a rollercoaster but it still stinks.
Can someone tell me what the abbrevations is for my 18 month old son I'm not sure how that works. thanks
Same thing today with the H phone!! He has his phone on 24/7 is required to for his work. So he cant use that as an excuse to not return my phone calls. Sent a text mess this am wanting to know what time he would be here...didnt hear back for 3 1/2. Says he was sleeping which is total BS. Even if he was sleeping he still got my mess and could have sent me a text back to let me know what time. It's not like I'm asking alot here!!! He is so rude when it comes to answering or returning my calls I cant stand it. I try not to call unless it's about our son or I really do have a question. I think the thing that makes it even harder is he usually talk to OW at LEAST 10 times a day. Always seems to call her back!! ugh
H is going to be here in about an hour, i'm going to leave for a while and find myself somthing to do!
Yes definately don't be there.. I know how hard it is to give some ryme or reason for the insanity, but there just isn't sometimes. Im sorry that you are going through this.
Abb. for a 18 month old.. ummm... boy or girl... if its a boy... S18mo, or girl, D18mo.
Never have see the abb. for it, but that looks ok enough.
Its must be so hard on you with a little one running around. I know somewhat of how you feel.
(((hugs)))
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
