Thanks to you WAW's....

[christarn]

Glad it helped!! Just remember as my DB coach told me you have to learn to put down the rope. Think of a tug of war game, you are both pulling at each other, but if you put your end of the rope down, she has nobody to tug at any more. Remember this is about baby steps, and she made a baby step today! It takes a few baby steps to make a big step...but it's progress, celebrate progress. I know your wife has said mean angry monster things, things she will never take be able to take back. The only thing I can say to that is, I said mean angry monster things, out of anger, deep in my heart, I don't think I really meant them. I read in a book, or on the web most marital problems start because one member of the marriage is not happy within themself, it's not so much about their spouse. This rang so true for me, as I reflect on the months leading up to me leaving, it was all anger inside of me, and me not knowing how to deal with it, unfotunatley, my H, took the force of it.

So now I would like to ask you a question. If it is my H's pride that is making some of the difference as to him being iffy about this, what could I do?Any suggestions also to help him begin to trust in me? We do talk on a rare occasion, but haven't seen eachother in 2 months, not sure what to do about that. The last time I asked him to do something, he said he was too busy, that was 3 weeks ago.

Patience is not a must around these parts, it's a virtue. You can do this. You are doing this. Try, if she says/does something to take a deep breath.

((hugs))
Christa