Well it's been a week and so far so good. My wife read the parts I highlighted in Rekindling Desire along with other parts she found interesting. I'm mostly through SSM and I think it will be more helpful than RD, I think it applies better to our marriage. (Also, it is just plain a better book!)
We've had some good talks about the desire gap and it was good to see my wife vent a bit about her own frustrations. Normally she just doesn't want to discuss it, so that is definitely progress.
We planned a date and had a nice evening out, and made love that night. She wasn't exactly enthusiastic, but I appreciated the gift all the same.
Next week hopefully she will read SSM and we can talk about goal setting. Baby-steps-get-on-the-bus, baby-steps-get-on-the-bus... (Bill Murray in "What About Bob").
By the way, my female friend wrote back and was understanding and supportive, and actually suggested that we break off any contact whatsoever. I agreed of course, although the next morning I broke into tears on my drive to work, listening to some 60's tune on the radio. Well, got that out of my system, and probably a warning that I wasn't quite as distant about the no-strings affair as I was telling myself.
