(((T))) I'm still amazed that we've had a break through within a matter of hours!
You are right the naughty / saucy bits can come later. They will be a total 180 when they do!
To answer your questions:
H was the one to leave. I always made it clear that even though I wasnt really happy with the tension in our relationship I wanted to get through it together, and that leaving was not an option for me. (Would of course handle it differently now, cause it put him under a lot of pressure). He dithered about for several months wanting to leave - I can see now that he was really torn and he didnt know what to do (but at the time when he couldnt make a decision it drove me crazy!). And I know I could convince him to come back because I sort of did (we had a whole year of drama), but I only want him back if he thinks that I'm fantastic and he cant stand to be without me. So 180 for me is to back off and not try to fix or change him! Before we got married he pursued me, after we got married I pursued him - funny huh! There is a lesson there!
You know at the start I had a calendar and I marked the days of NC off, but now I cant even really remember how long its been since the last contact. I'd say at least a month.
