Thanks Christa, I am indeed struggling with the friend not foe aspect of this. I think a lot of it is my pride but some is the anger about the kids too. It is hard to understand. I know she is not herself but she is not admitting any of that or seeing any of it. A lot could also be my impatience..... one thing she really had a problem with.
But I spoke with her a little while after reading your post and I had that in mind when I was talking to her. She came by and got the kids today and took them to buy them shoes and clothes. I called her and thanked her and was friendly as I could. I was genuinely thankful for her helping out like that and it was the first time in a few months that she has done anything for her kids.
I have to restate here that my wife said she was resentful of the kids for her not having a life now....that is deep. It is a hell of an admission to make and it must be a crappy state of mind to be in. I guess I need to move into a more understanding mode while not expecting to much from her. This is tough on me because I just hate what the kids are going through and I am doing my best to make their lives seem somewhat normal.
Anyway, your advice helped Christa, she said that she was happy to do it and said that she guessed it was her responsibility anyway. That was a huge step for her to say that.
I'll keep trying and you guys please be patient with me....the impatient one.
