I'm thinking that I got a bit ahead of myself and I need to keep my expectations low. I think my next move will be just to call him and say hi - to match his baby step.
You are so amazing to have continued contact with H even when it must have hurt so much in the beginning. But your results show that was the right move!
Makes perfect sense about reassurance first and boundary setting later. I think H really needs to be reassured that I dont hate him or think he is a bad person - his own guilty consience is doing that for him. Thanks for the tip - I'm going to work on reassurance and encourgaging him for the good things he does do (might have to get my magnifying glass out to look for those good things :D)
