The first book to come was "Rekindling Desire". I skimmed through several pertinent sections, and talked with my wife about it. Her reaction was predictably negative. She is very skeptical that the authors have anything useful or applicable to say, therapists go into the profession because they themselves are troubled, blah, blah.
But, she did tell me to underline or mark any sections that I want her to read. She was trying hard to be disinterested, but I know she is actually curious in a hostile kind of way... I couldn't help but smile, it must have looked kind of smug, but I think she is open to some new ideas.
Today, the other two books arrived, "The Sex Starved Marriage" and "Love Languages". She had opened the package and then hid them out of embarassment (I did tell her I had ordered them, so it was not a surprise). She told me where to find them when I got home. As a joke I took SSM and put it on the coffee table. Big letters -- SEX STARVED MARRIAGE. I told her relax, I'm keeping them hidden away in my underwear drawer. But she didn't think it was funny, I have a kind of twisted sense of humor which she does not always appreciate.
The last couple of days, as I was reading, I would sometimes read a couple of paragraphs to her. She told me DO NOT DO THAT AGAIN! If she wants to read it she will, and stop shoving it down her throat. Okay, a little defensive, but understandable.
I'm still balking at calling off the affair, which is selfish and weak, I know, I know. But I feel like I need to see just a tiny bit of progress at home before taking that step. To be honest, I think things are cooling down on their own just due to the natural course of things, maybe you "experienced" cheaters out there can tell what to expect.
