Thanks Jen...You have been VERY supportive! I don't feel like I am doing much at all, to be honest. I feel like I am just living my life, and waiting for him to come around. I'm not chasing him, just letting him wonder what I am doing. I saw him this afternoon at our office. He said a brief hello, then went to pick up the kids. I called him to let him know he had mail, and we chatted briefly on the phone. I told him I was heading home, and he said he would talk to me later. It was very casual, but I still get butterflies every time I see him or see his # on the caller ID. When does that go away?
I posted in my other thread the question "Does it get any easier?". Apparently the answer is no, not really.
I think that as long as you love your H and doesn't do anything to really make you not love him the butterflies might be there for a long time. I was wondering last night as I lay in bed when one actually learns to sleep in the middle of the bed and not on his/her own side. After so long together I guess it's only natural to sleep where you always slept.
I think there are a lot of little things that are hard to get over. But on a whole I think we can all learn to let go but keep the door open for them when and if they decide to come home.
Keep your chin up!
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
This is how the "butterflies" feel for me right now. You know when you're in high school and have a really big crush on the quarterback, but there is no way in hell he would ever consider going out with you? That is how I feel when I see him. It is this unrequited love feeling that just sticks in your belly. I can't shake it. When my computer goes to the screensaver there are all these pictures of him, and I feel it. It hurts so bad, but I don't want that feeling to go away. I can't understand how that feeling went away for him. When he was over last night I wanted to get all dolled up and put on some makeup, but he would have known. I NEVER where makeup. I want to impress him, but it would just be so obvious and desperate, I think. I'm hoping the feeling goes down to a low hum, rather than the feeling I have now. I don't think it will ever go away.
Yup know the butterfly feelings! At least you know he still makes your tummy tickle He might not have lost that for you or if he did you can bring them back.
I think you could wear a little make up. And since you NEVER wear makeup it would be a 180 for you. Maybe a lttle powder, blush and mascara. Does you H like it when you wear makeup? Maybe wear a shirt that brings out the colour of your eyes or a cute pair of jeans. Some little thing he might notice but not big enough to scream "look at me".
You can do it! Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Makeup would be a HUGE 180 for me. It just is not a part of what I do. He always has noticed in the past when I put on makeup, but he always said I didn't need it. Maybe he really does like it, or he wouldn't have noticed it.
He did notice that I have lost some weight. He actually seemed a little concerned about it. I have lost about 20 pounds in 3 weeks (from a size 12 jeans to a 6). He said "You're losing a lot of weight. Be careful with that. It isn't really a healthy way to lose it (meaning D stress)". I just joked and said "Hey, whatever it takes!" He laughed at that.
I think all men like a certain amount of makeup. There's a natural way and well a slu**y way. You need to keep it light while accenting you nicest features.
Ok so since you lost weight you get to...
go shopping!!! cool! Take some time and buy a couple of nice things that you normally wouldn't buy. Something that yells "This is the new Lori".
Of course please don't fall below a healthy weight.
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Hmmm...the new Lori...I like that! I am planning to do a little shopping this weekend, but I was just planning to get some stuff for the kids. I hadn't thought about anything for me. Something to think about.
I also never wear make-up. I have started just to wear a little powder, blue and eye-shadow and also wear some perfume. H has noticed a few times, but overall it just makes me feel better about myself.
Sara
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
I put on a little makeup this morning. I feel pretty good actually. With the weight loss and the makeup, I feel like a new woman. I don't think I will even see H today, but I don't really care. I want to start looking as good as I can. I am 31 years old. I don't want to walk around looking like a hag! :lol: I am also wearing a pair of jeans I haven't been able to wear since before I had kids!
H and I spoke this morning about some financial stuff. I kept it cool but upbeat. I don't know if he is noticing my changes, but I am going to keep it up. It makes me feel better to have a PMA. Fake it 'til you make it, right?
He might not have lost that for you or if he did you can bring them back.