Thank you SO much for your thoughts... I feel CRAZY SPECIAL that I can post late at night and check my thread the next morning and here are such thoughtful responses from all of you!!! I am excited about your ideas, but running off to class now. Will "type more later"!
I would say, contact him. You've done so much work with yourself. Let's see now if you can have that extra little thing called B on the side...
I would go direct. A phonecall if it is possible. An then I would send the underwear (of course I liked the idea, you knew I would, right?). And then maybe oIll send you THE sex calendar, and Lisa the corset and Michelle a gun (!!) and we get him off guard and he becomes your slave...
Appart from the jokes, he probably thinks you are over him. He probably thinks that if you felt anything you want have contacted him by now. Let him know you love him. Don't tell him, don't get me misunderstood, put that special warmth to whatever you decide to do and let him feel it...
I was posting on yours when you posted on mine. I had read yours while you were still asleep but had to find the time to write more than one sentence to you (you know I've been heartbroken, don't you?).
T, don't miss the chance to figure out what is going on. This long distance issue is big enough for him to feel discouraged even if he has figured it out he made a mistake. In your sitch, I wouldn't be very distant...
K- I am watching football at home- I'm still in confinement! Your H is famous- that is so exciting! Unfortunately the Greece game isn't on here, so I will have to imagine a good-looking Greek guy in a suit instead (not hard!)
T- can you tell we're all congregating here, waiting for news?!!
L.xx
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart. And you'll never walk alone.
Yeah - good idea..or do you not have his phone number?? I say pick up the phone...he did a brave thing sending a key and note throygh the post like that out of the blue, it was a risk? Ring him tommorow or Friday, the stars are excellent! Very romantic.
Ali x
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Oh my gosh, I feel so loved by all of you guys!!!!! Your support is amazing!!!
I feel SO LUCKY to have your input and encouragement. I mentioned the key to a couple other people at my school and they said things like, "he's a sick puppy" and even better "move on, get over it". I am SO GLAD THAT YOU ARE ALL HERE FOR ME. Clearly I need to take my own advice and stop asking non-db-understanders for advice so I don't get yanked around.
Kalni, I LOVE the idea of the corset, gun, sex calendar, etc!!! You made me laugh so hard!! kalni, the sex calendar is actually a really good idea for the FUTURE, but I might need to work up to that!!
Appart from the jokes, he probably thinks you are over him. He probably thinks that if you felt anything you want have contacted him by now.
This long distance issue is big enough for him to feel discouraged even if he has figured it out he made a mistake.
You know what is really crazy??? I completely DID NOT THINK about how all of this would make HIM feel. Since the bombs, I have spent so much energy and a zillion hours trying to figure out how to make him feel good in different scenarios in the past and the future. But it never occured to me that he might be thinking that I don't feel anything anymore. Clearly I need help in this area!!! My whole logic was, "I need to give him space and time he made it clear that he wants, I need to give myself space and time, and I will just wait and then he will contact me hopefully." ??!!!
Like, yesterday when I was really upset about the note, I thought, wait. He didn't have to send a note. What if there was no note, just a key? I probably would have cried for three days. What if that's how he felt when I sent him a package of mail with no note? It NEVER OCCURED TO ME that that might make him feel like S(^&*. I also realized, he may subtly be "escalating" communication because I sent a package with no note, but he sent me a package WITH a note.
