HOLY CRAP!!! That is so great@!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited for you!!! Things are movin'!!!!! I feel like I am in the *exact* same place as you so I really feel like I don't have any advice, I am overwhelmed as to how to respond in my own situation. but what everyone else sounds really good-- esp if he is worried that you are mad at him when you try to be mysterious, then maybe being bold is the way to move into the friendship stage.
I am SO PROUD of how you are being so supportive and validating. I think the saucy naughty bits will come later. Right now maybe it is taking all of your energy just to stay cool, not panic, and show him that you're OK and there to listen. At least that's what it would be like with me. I seriously am thinking about taking beta blockers before I see my B (when hopefully we get to that point) so I don't just radiate panic. So you are so far beyond where I am... I am so proud.
Especially awesome is how big the contrast is between how you accept him and support him versus how all the Well Meaning Naggers in his life who are telling him to go to church and getting on his case about partying too hard. It sounds to me like he is just acting out to numb himself to the pain of being apart from you/thinking he has lost you forever. It actually sounds pretty mild compared to how bad it could be.... Sometimes partying a lot is a sign of "masked depression", does that sound like your H at all?
Also... I've been wondering this for a while. A long time ago you said that if you "talked him into it" or something like that H would probably come back home and work things out with you. But instead what you have been doing is waiting and watching and not initiating anything. I am curious why. Do you want this space to organize your own self, and process your feelings? Do you need a break from the drama-rama? Do you want H to prove to you that it's what he wants? But... was it you who told him to leave? In that case, how can you show, not tell him, that you want him back? Does this make any sense? If you kicked him out and then are doing LRT, he might just think you don't want him back ever. ????
I might be TOTALLY OFF THE MARK HERE !!
anyway, Essie, I am full of jubliation for you!! And just for the record, how long did it take for him to reach out? I am always interested to know (before what happened yesterday with B sending the package I thought maybe I would have to go for 8 months of NC or something).
((((MEGA MEGA MEGA HUGS))) and a bunch of high fives!!!!!
