Regarding the "sex vacation", the birth went very smoothly, no problem. But sex went to zero and my frustration went way up. Our counselor decided I was being too pushy and proposed the "vacation". I had been getting angry and demanding, felt bad, and committed myself to not bring up sex again until she was ready. Well, between the baby and starting up a business, and the rest of life's ordinary challenges, it was too easy to schedule intimacy right out of the marriage. Good idea, but maybe bad timing.
My wife competes on lots of levels, I discovered early on while playing games like Monopoly and Risk. She pretty much refuses to lose. She is a fierce negotiator in all dealings. I respect that, I enjoy her women-can-do-anything approach. We clicked, I think, because I never felt threatened by her; and in fact I love her independence and confidence.
Finding a middle ground, though, is very hard with her. If she wants a BMW and I want a Honda, she'll go for the four-cylinder BMW and call that a compromise. So meeting in the middle in our sex life is nothing close to meeting my needs.
