Again, I'm just throwing stuff out in the wind here, to see where it lands.
Something like ten years ago, after our youngest was born, it was suggested that I give W a sex holiday.
It was "suggested"? What do you mean by this? Who did the "suggesting"? Was there problems about, or with, the birth?
She's competitive, and thought of it as a competition I guess.
What other areas of your life might "competition" come into play? Careers, household responsibilities, sports, friends, knowledge, etc.?
Are there any other "winner/loser" scenes in your personal lives together?
Sometimes I wonder if my rejection of her started the whole cycle, injured her pride and embarassed her.
Probably not, if this was an isolated incident. If this is a pattern of behaviour, then maybe so.
If she was really drunk when she did this, it might not be something she's comfortable with doing, something that she may have inhibitions about. It might have been something she "experimented" with, didn't get any positive results with, so might have felt embarrassed about?
Have you ever talked to her about this experience, or just let it pass, unspoken about?
Might this be something that you'd like to have happen again, except maybe under different circumstances?
Here's really "tossing in the wind", but is sex something she might feel "dirty" about? What are times in your sex life when she might not have had any inhibitions?
JJ
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