Something like ten years ago, after our youngest was born, it was suggested that I give W a sex holiday. I wouldn't ask, the subject wouldn't come up, until she was ready. I hung in there for six months, then finally I caved in and begged and pleaded for sex. She said she was amazed how long I lasted before crying "uncle". She's competitive, and thought of it as a competition I guess. So I gave up on any idea of not persuing her, since that didn't seem to work at all.
Early in our marriage, she came on to me very strong once when she was drunk. It turned me off and I told her we would wait until she was sober. She then made a big show of masturbating -- and since then, she has never come on to me like that. Sometimes I wonder if my rejection of her started the whole cycle, injured her pride and embarassed her. There's been a lot of water under the bridge since then, and it's a stretch to think it would still have much of an effect.
