Wow. I just got back into town, and had the sh** shocked out of me.
He's married? IN secret???? For 2 months???
Accepting that Jack is right (wrong focus), I gotta say this sounds pretty familiar, and boy, they are sure acting proud of themselves and their new sweeties, aren't they. UGh.
Well, I am sorry because I know it hurts. And I'm not sorry, because it does make it easier and clearer for you to know your direction for the near future.
Something just came to me do you think he didn't tell you of his remarriage for this exact reason, with you thinking that she the ow was out of the picture you would let things ride, with the house maintenace and the wording of divorce decree, he could get off money wise for a while?
Do not worry about him, nor feel sorry, nor kind, nor responsible.
Now is the time for accountability.
No need to be vindictive, petty or small.
Hold him to the standards established by the court. And if those are too much for him, boo-fing-hoo.
You're 39 the whole world is before you, he had a chance to make nice with you, and down the road if he is truely honest and consistent, maybe you can give him another chance. But for now, he needs to learn a life lesson, and you are part of the learning process.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
I have thought and thought ....why would he simply not just say to me...I'm married. Instead I would get an email saying...I've thought about your suggestion on moving back in the house, I'm sorry, but I don't think it will work, we are barely able to speak on the phone. Got that one a week ago.
I guess my conclusion would be that he was hiding it in hopes that I would sit here and twiddle my thumbs waiting for him to come home.
Even before I found this out I had sent him several of those "Strictly Business" emails. I had already set an appointment with my attorney for Tuesday (yesterday). I had no clue I would be adding additional information. I've said it before....God seems to hand me signs, this one he smacked me back into reality with.
Amy.....you said something very significant, much more than you know....he will eventually look down and see his signature. Yes, thats very true. I had to remind him of that yesterday.
Things are not at all good for him. He signed the mediation agreement that was quickly drawn up at the mediators office. When my attorney had a more "Formal" agreement typed up, he refused to sign it, we back and forthed hearings until eventually I said ENOUGH and we used the one the mediator drew up. So that one is the "Official" one. The one and only he is legally binded to.
It's going to "hurt" him alot. He was spitting venom yesterday when he called me. I'm actually kinda worrie. I'm sure he had no idea this would happen. Neither did I, until yesterday.
Jack...your right. Sometimes a little drama from them makes you feel like they are still there with you. That they have not completely disappeared. But I do not want nor desire anymore of this from him. He is going to have a big wake up call very soon, and I want to be nowhere near when it happens.
This is getting a bit scary for me. He is nowhere near normal anymore.
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
