New Hobby

[Jamesjohn]

I have no control over her reaction, and I'm sure she would experience a whole spectrum of conflicting emotions. But as for my part, I would end the affair. That had already been mutually agreed on before the affair went to the physical stage. I assume my wife would lose all trust in me, but I would respond by being as open and honest about everything as she is willing to take.

Sounds like you have this pretty well thought out. You're not going into this blindly, and understand what some of the consequences might be.

It also sounds like you're really desparate for a change in your marriage, and having an affair is one way to make this happen, that's for sure! However, it's a way that has some ends that could get way out of hand, and beyond all control.

You say that you would end the affair if your wife found out. It sounds like a BIG part of you does want your marriage to succeed, but are just really frustrated, and see no other path to take. By coming here to this board, it seems like you are willing to explore other ways to make these changes happen, and maybe try to find a different path.

I think this is good! Stick around, and keep reading and posting!!

But I'm also considering seeing a counselor on my own, because I recognize I'm not the best judge of things right now.

Not a bad idea at all. DO be careful about choosing a C, however. There are a lot of C's out there that might steer you in the "easy" direction, and not present to you all the options that are available to you. Some of these paths might seem to be easier at first, but may have a lot of devastating effects in the long run.

Contact Michele's office to see if there is anyone in your area she might suggest, or set up a phone consult with one of her people.

Become an informed consumer, so you can make the best decision that you can regarding your future!