While I'm certainly no expert...I have learned a thing or two about this problem.
Lack of sexual desire in a woman is RARELY about sex. It could be about lack of intimacy, low self esteem, hormone imbalance, old wounds, childhood trauma, or many other things.
I have found that great sex is only the tip of the iceburg. This iceburg needs to be nurtured, made to feel special, made to feel LISTENED TO and HEARD without judgements, felt loved ALL week...not just in the BR or for a day. She needs to be courted.
What was different in the beginning of the relationship that made her actually lust for you ? Have you gotten into a boring routine when she does make love to you ? Same old lines......same old everything ?
Do you take a shower before making advances? Do you wear the same cologne as you did 5 years ago? Has all of it gotten old to her ?
Do you REALLY know if she reaches orgasm...( more than one, too !)...or is she faking it ? Are you certain?
Does she get regular female exams?
All I'm trying to do here is provoke thought..not point fingers.
Sometimes low sexual desire is a SYMPTOM of another problem(s) in the R.
Have you tried counseling? Has she told you over and over again that she needs something else from you...and you havent gotten around to it ?
I have met many women that seem to have low desire for their Husbands....yet they almost.......and the operative word here is ALMOST...want to have an affair..just to know what it feels like to be treated differently again..........like a princess.
You dont have to earn it...you maybe just have to LISTEN and HEAR her, assuming there is no physical problem. She needs to feel CLOSE to you again. My bet is......if you get THAT feeling back.......the lovemaking will follow in due time. She has to trust you again, maybe.
But having an affair is NOT going to solve your problem. I know the allure.....but it's lust...and it dishonors you....does something to you inside. A piece of you dies...doesnt it ?
You feel it, or you wouldnt be here. She will feel it ,too. You can take that to the bank.
