Feeling hope

[saffie]

Luv,

You are strong and can get through this. I know it's awful and he is treating you so badly - but you will survive. You have those wonderful kids and they are lucky to have you.

((((HUGS))))

[fightingirish]

OMG!! im so sorry... what a jerk!! To get your hopes up like that. He's not being a man, he's acting like a 2 year old.

Call me if you need to , you have my number...

sending you huge huge hugs((((((((((((())))))))))))))

xxoo

Tal

[LuvMyHusband]

Hi all,
Well the drama goes on and on and on. H called this morning. I didn't recognize the number or I wouldn't have answered. I was short and cool. He wanted to talk. I didn't. He said he wanted to go to C. I said why? He said he wanted help. I said "so get it". He said that he was sick. Yeah, no kidding. I said that what he had done was reprehensible and that there was no way I was letting him set one foot in the door to hurt me and our kids again. I told him that he could prove he was serious by seeing our Bishop (religious leader) and that he could stay at a hotel first. He said Oh, now there's conditions? Darn right there is and I have every right to place them. At this point, I don't know if I even want to give him another chance. He actually had the nerve to tell ME he didn't trust me!

[fightingirish]

Boy aren't they amazing! Im glad you stood your ground. At this point I would keep my distance from him. You need space from him after what he has done.

I hope he gets help, but whether he does is up to him, and with or without him you will be ok, I promise. You don't need this, you really don't. You deserve better.

He is sick and until he shows you he's serious, I wouldn't let him in the door either!

Good job!

[LuvMyHusband]

Ok, another episode. this is like a soap opera. My H called again. Very humble. He says he is willing to do whatever it takes to make things right. See our Bishop. Go to C. He called our friend again, he is taking the job. He said that he realizes the problem has been his, not mine. That he sees the changes in me, and that he is the one who has been angry and unforgiving. I told him that I would no longer accept the things he has been doing. That I want a different life. That I wanted openess and honesty, trust and transparency. He said he did too. He called our Bishop. Apparently he never made it to CA. He made it half way and then has been at a hotel. Thinking and crying. Said he loves our family and will do whatever it takes. Says he has misjudged me and hasn't given me a chance.

[Sara]

You are absolutely right to set conditions. Insist on Retrouvaille before he moves back in. Counseling is good, but it does not have the intensity of a full weekend of focus. He can talk to the Bishop about it.

[fooled again]

Luv,

Have you considered that your H may be in MLC? His behavior sounds so much like mine, but I was very focused on his A and his waffling on whether or not he wanted to come home. Then someone sent me a link to a post here on DB (I had already been posting on this site, and the link came from an outside source - strange coincidence? I think not).

Six Stages of MLC-4th posting

Maybe you should take a minute and read it; you may recognize alot of your H in the description. I know it helped me immensely, since I was very confused, hurt, angry and nothing made sense. After reading the post, it was like I had been working on a jigsaw puzzle w/out knowing what it was supposed to look like, and someone finally gave me the box w/ the picture on it. The puzzle in my sitch still needs to be put together, but at least now I have some idea of what it might look like.

I really hope it helps you. I so understand what you are feeling, and my D has said the same thing about not having a daddy and her daddy not loving her. ((((Hugs to you))))

FA

[LuvMyHusband]

Thanks Sara and FA, Gees, I feel EXHAUSTED today. Literally wiped out.

[LuvMyHusband]

I just feel sick, like I want to throw up, scared and anxious. I just can't take this rollercoaster anymore. I'm so tired. I want to get past all this!

[LuvMyHusband]

Wow, thanks for posting the stages of MLC. I see my H in alot of that. It sounds like he is coming out of this. He is on anti depressants now. It sounds like he started to run away but only ran so far and is coming back. Gees, I'm going to need something for anxiety myself soon.