Thanks for the answers. I think I knew the answer though.
We've been together for almost 10 years and married for almost 4. We have a D6. Things were getting worst and worst for us and neither of us really really tried to make it work. I guess we always used bandaids to cover the problems without really dealing with them. H was spending more time with friends and I was spending more time nagging him to spend more time with us. The more I nagged/begged the further he pulled. Christmas time was ok but we were growing apart. He decided to leave at the beginning of February and half a$$ed moved to his parents.
We have been dealing with the same issues for quite some time. I wish I had found this site earlier in our M. I really think our issues are solvable but H doesn't agree. A lot has to do with my attitude towards him. I like to be in control ALL the time and I like to set and keep rules. I had/have a very controlling/manipulative mother and I think I learned my behaviour from her. Deep in my heart I know that is one of the biggest reasons H says he wants to move on. I know we both have things that need to be changed. I can only work on my issues and hope that he will see the changes and like what he sees.
Jen
We ARE two peas in a pod. This is my biggest issue, and my H's too.
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
