Why does she think the kids don't ask much where she is? Its simple, she isn't THERE much, every chance she gets she is away. And all the kids see is that their mom would rather be somewhere else than at home with them (even if its more of her just wanting to be somewhere else than at home with me). I don't understand how she can think I am trying to do the favorite thing, I'm competing against an absent person, its a no-contest situation!
Got "you should have gotten your license" thrown at me again in the conversation as well... yes, I should have one, no, I don't have one. I have severe panic attacks about driving and have avoided it since trying to get my license a few years ago. And a bit of a moot point since W takes the car on her weekend jaunts, so I couldn't take the car anyway. No, I will not buy a second car! They're expensive here in Europe.
Ok, I have a meeting coming up, got to go. Hope you all had a Happy Easter!
I did mostly. Your W sounds like my H; he also was gone much of the time he said to get me & the kids used to him moving out. The funny thing is that now that he's moved out he is spending way more time here--to the point after H being here Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday that I was so ready for him to leave actually. He was yelling a lot Sunday (at me and the kids), and my C says I need to ask him to stop that. I have been so used to getting yelled at by H that I didn't even think of that!!!
My H's latest theory is that the kids didn't care he moved out b/c I have been poisoning them by talking about him and his girlfriend or something like that (which of course I wouldn't do to the poor kids)! But H has always blamed me for stuff, so I guess now that he's realized his kids don't care as much as they should about him he won't look at the fact that he was gone much of the time with OW, or texting her when he was home, or yelling at us, which of course has made it a relief I think for the kids and definitely for me now that he has moved out. I am wondering if your W will do the same when she realizes her relationship is not very good with your kids!!!
I have phobias too, I think I got them from my dad who was phobic of water & lightning (he was actually struck by lightning when he was 12). I am talking to my C about that, and have you considered that? I was scared of heights and have been painting on ladders and gradually am getting over them. I've decided not to let my fears stop me from doing anything I want to (like painting in slightly high places). It feels good to conquer the phobias (I still have the lightning one but hopefully I'll get over that one too!). You might want to do it, just as a self esteem thing. It has made me feel stronger and better about myself to work on it. Karen
Karen
