I was just checking the bank account online and saw that she bought another month's worth of transit tickets (we used to commute to work together). I knew she wasn't coming home yet, but to see it in print, well it's just discouraging. But I'll pull out of it. Just need to focus on (1) the positives, and (2) my own life.
Next time I see her will be a week today...we are going to a wine tasting event. That's a positive.
We are also going on a 3-day weekend trip to Seattle on our anniversary. That's a major positive. My chance to be a DB machine, and let her see my changes up close, 24/7 for 3 days. Scared? You bet. I realize that weekend could be a turning point. I also feel that, based on a few comments she has made - that this is also a test, of sorts. Maybe not a test of "me", rather, of "us".
Also, since it will be our anniversary, I will be drawing upon the collective wisdom here as that weekend (Apr 11-12-13) draws near, regarding how the "anniversary" part should be played.
I am quite detached from her/us, about 75% of the time, to be honest. For some reason, the other 25% of the time, feelings come flooding back. I start to miss her, and the life we had. I really need to beat the feelings back sometimes! Arrgghh.
I am a sensitive, emotional, yet commanding and confident guy. Everyone I know tells me that. Even SHE tells me that.
I guess it all takes time. And, in the grand picture, 3 months is not a lot of time.
Anyway....back to work. Fortunately I have a very busy job that keeps my mind on 1,001 other things. Most of the time.
