Another new topic! already? Here we go

[LoginName]

I am in that stage, that I think is normal, where it's hard to post, and even hard to read posts. I want to try to help others, give support, even advice when I can, but find it hard to do. I'm thinking of you all though, and wish the best for you.

It breaks my heart to read some of the posts though. For a while, I thought I knew some answers and could help. I'm not sure now. I think I found some answers for me. I think some of them are universal and can help others. I'm pysching myself up to getting back on the horse and posting, reading, supporting soon.

I'm also a little stuck in my own situation. Things are too normal, in many ways. I'm facing many of the same issues I, we, faced in the past. Intimacy, sex are still issues. My level of desire is still a lot stronger than hers. She's acting so much like her mother these days, more than she used to. I don't like her mom that much. I've called her on it a couple of times. I don't mind her being that way (bossy, know-it-all, arogant, judgemental) toward me. I can let it roll off my back, or stand up to her and back her down if need be (maybe I need to do more of that) but I hate it when she treats the kids that way. My son is old enough, and big enough, I don't think it hurts him much, but I don't like the dynamic it sets up with my daughter.

Of course, every married couple has different ideas on how to raise the kids, and that's one of the normal issues that we face.

So, I still am trying to understand what happened, so that it won't happen again. I don't want to be hurt like that again. Sometimes I think that what happened was, she needed to go though a MLC. It was all about her, and there is very little for me to learn or change. Sometimes I think that it was just a bunch of little things that built up until it broke. Things like no time, work pressure, different sexual needs, stacking the dishwasher, etc. If that's the case, I better address the small issues head on right away. Which issues are best let go, and which do I push on? How do you talk about things,communicate?

We had a couples communications class. I can try using those techniques. I can re-read the book, read other relationshiop books. I'll do that.

Sometimes I think that if I had a job I loved and challenged me, then these other issues would be much smaller.

I don't think I can expect a job, or a relationship, to make me totally happy. I think I need to peice it all together, and build a patch work. Get what I can from my M/R, but don't expect her to be the be all and end all. That's where sex is tricky though. Being married means, for me, that she is the be all and end all. But I'll work it out, or we will.

OK, got to get to work. Keep fighting the good fight.