Thanks, Shades for the comment about people believing what they are going to believe and you having no control other than your own behavior.

I am struggling with this with my IL's. H admitted in his roundabout way that he has been badmouthing me to his parents. They not only ignore me but also S18. They send S21 money and talk to him on the phone but they don't call or have anything to do with S18. The problem I have with that is the promise first of all that they would always love and I would always be their DIL and most importantly that they have not even asked S18 how he feels about the situation. I can understand the blood is thicker than water but S18 is their blood...so WTH?

Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.