Need Help

[troubled_husband]

Well, Last night my W pushed the R discussion last night she was fairly rational through the whole thing. Emotional, but not hysterical. She pushed some and I decided to talked about one of my concerns. She said she has been wanting to talk about it since before the hitting incident last year. She said that she realizes that the LD is because she feels dirty when we have sx. She even said it was her issue because of baggage from her past. She went into some detail. Even took responsibility for being passive during sx.

She also explained some of how she got to her current state. Not a lot of blaming me this time. Just reframing incidents and taking responsibility for the way they made her feel. And she said she want to work on it, but first she want to work on becoming closer emotionally.

I went on to discuss some of my PTSD issues and how they played into her perception of things.

I still have the trust issues to deal with. I will need to see a consistent attitude to believe it is real. But I suspect it is. This is the first time that she has taken full responssibility for her feelings about anything.

We also need to deal with the verbal abuse issue. But that may work out as we work on the other issues. Then again it might not. I won't know until I see where this goes.

She did end with a minor attack on my recovery group, but I made it clear that it was not negotiable and I wasn't going to defend it. She only seemed to take minor insult at that. Much better than previous responses.