OK GUYS, this is CRAZY.... here we are talking about how to reach out to my b, and then, I HEARD FROM MY B TODAY. after almost five months. !!!!!!!!!!)#(@*$(#*%)(!$)%&!$)(&%)$!&%)*!$%&)!*!!!
Sorry I am feeling really "raw" and a little crazy and exhausted so excuse me if I am not super organized...
So we don't need to worry about where he is or what his mailing address is, because when I opened up my mailbox this afternoon, there was a small bubble mailer package from him. With his NYC address as the return address. I got really excited, thinking, is this a present?! Or a letter so long and big he needed to put it in a bubble mailer instead of an envelope??
Inside was a plain piece of white paper with the following note:
Transformer,
Here is your key -- I'm sorry I didn't get it to you sooner. I hope you are doing well.
Boyfriend
Carefully taped to the back of the paper is his key to my apartment here in atlanta. Other observations: His handwriting on the envelope looks wobblier and different than usual. There are lots of stamps, it is clearly packaged with care. I can't see the postmark so I don't know exactly when he mailed it. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???????
At first I felt: excited, then disappointed, then angry. I waited to so long to hear from him, and then the note is so short, so hard to "read" what it means. And he was with me for almost 5 years, and then can't even write "Dear Transformer", just "Transformer"? I teared up a little bit and started to get really emotional. I started to feel completely crazy, like I was getting that fight or flight feeling even though I was just reading a note and looking at an envelope. I started to feel totally panicked, crazy, like sliding back into that tunnel I was in oct-nov right around the time of the bombs, where I couldn't really eat or sleep or think straight, and just felt this crazy physical insane energy coursing through my body.
