Thank you for stopping by my thread. And in answer to your question yes, you will get much farther in your DBing efforts once you stop having R talks with your W. In my sitch the conversations we've had as of late regarding are R have been initiated by him. My goal during these conversations is to avoid crying at ALL COSTS (I'm a super sensitive female unfortunately) and to affirm what he tells me.. In my sitch he has been trying so I make a point of thanking him when he states that he's trying.
I've briefly skimmed over your thread and think it's great that you are in counseling and realize that you had been negative in your dealings with your wife.. so trying to be upbeat, friendly, complimentary (although not overboard) are good 180's for you. Also, I totally see why you are working on the separation agreement. I would do the same if my H was trying to limit my time with my child as much as your W seems to be doing to you... problem is, for some reason when the lawyers get involved fear and paranoia get mixed in there and you are really going to have to work your butt of with DBing.
Speaking of DBing.. so pleased that you got the book. I don't know about you but finding this website and getting that book truly was a life saver for me.
So, as I mentioned I just skimmed over your thread.. I didn't catch what you are doing to get a life. It seems you have a lot more time on your hands since your wife is limiting the time you get with your kids... it would seem you are in regular contact due to parenting.. are there any subtle changes you can make in your appearance.. I read that you'd lost 20 pounds (and gained a bit back) that's a start.. are you doing something that you've always wanted to do but never had the time.. if not, is there something that you might be interested in taking up hobby/activity wise? And is there some way you can create a bit of mystery?
I've often thought it would be so great if you could buy that "new romance glow" from a department store.. it would be so handy for us LBS.. we could have the glow of a new romance without actually having to have a real new relationship (since adding others to our problem filled marriages make things messy..) but we would be so happy and giddy and glowing that our WAS's would definitely notice!
Gosh, I feel like I'm just rambling now.. and likely sounding a bit goofy..
But thanks again for stopping by my thread.. I will continue to stop by yours!
