Its been awhile since i have posted....I feel bad posting when there are so many struggling.
I am still struggling with feels and emotions, and its been very hard, as I know that I am in danger of ruining my marriage. I have however spoken to my dr, and she seems to think that what I am going through is not A typical, and in away its like a delayed grieving. So I will be going to see a psychologist, I called today to make an appointment, just waiting for a call back. It will be the same one that h went to, which my dr thought would be good, because she knows our background. I have come very close to calling my M quits in the last couple of weeks, and h has sensed this. I am just struggling to get passed all the pain and hurt...mostly its dealing with the treatment, I have never been so hurt before in my life. I was reading Nam's posts in new comers and he said it the best, I have shown everything to h, gave him my love and shown my soul, and he didn't want it, and he threw it aside, and I need to get past this, because if I dont my marriage will be over, so hopefully I can get the tools to work through this and deal with it. I wanted to post this to show others that even though h/w come back and they are working hard to make it better, there is alot of baggage that has to be worked through! So be prepared for that. Because I wasn't I thought once he was back to be all would be great and we would have a better marriage, I didn't expect to now be the one who can't deal with all that has happened. I thought I was strong!
Me - 44 H - 44 M - 19yrs together - 23yrs D16 S8 EA/PA - Bomb Oct20/06 Jan 8/07 Feb 01/07 Jul 15/07 H still @ home Recovered!
