Maybe that is good advice for everyone. From reading through the advice and thoughts, I put together a 'list of understanding' for a relationship.
How do the following lists sound?
1) What I originally expected in M? 2) What I think I have now? 3) What I currently expect in M? 4) What I think a perfect M would look like? 5) What am I willing to do to make it happen?
The more specific the better.
And if spouse is willing to do the same, it will help clarify everyone's position.
DH, can you answer all these questions for yourself? Does your W like lists to think about? Do you think she would be willing to answer any of these questions?
(((((Michelle))))) Troubled **insert handshake**
What do I want in a W? I took a stab at that above.
As far as this list goes... 1) Heck if I know! I don't think I had a clue. I was 24, I think I though we'd live happily ever after! Any other thoughts have been pretty much swallowed u pby time! 2) Nothing. 3) I really have no expectations. That is one thing I have gotten too good at! Unless there is a radical change, I think my expectations will be met. 4) I think what I said to beginnersmind would be a start. ML now and then would be ok, too. 5) I have to think about his a bit. I think I have to start by fixing myself. Then I need to figure out whether I even can be what she wants, so I guess I'll have to ask her what she wants, huh?
OK, that wasn't very specific, but it what I have right now. When you are not even friends it is hard to imagine a marriage. I need to work on that.
I don't think she would be much into this right now. Then again, I won't know unless I ask, I am assuming again. Hmmmmm.....
