Well, my last thread finally locked, so here is the continuing saga...
My H for the last five days has worked his regular shift, and then had to go back on from 10 at night till 3 am, to do surveillance to catch car thieves, and he has a hard time keeping awake, so I call him on his cell and talk for a long time with him to keep him occupied.
Well, we got deep into R talk the other night, and I asked him some questions. I told him I knew he still had the other cell phone, that I had seen it. He said he had "intended" to give it to a "certain" person to use but someone had been calling it and not identifying their number or leaving a message, or as he said harassing the phone. And he said that now the contract is almost up on it, and he is going to let it expire, I told him I wanted to see the phone, and he said he will let me see it when it is turned off. I asked him if it would be replaced with another one. He got pi**ed at me for asking that.
And he said the jewelry purchase was for me (yeah, right), but that he had not realized that I had a heart necklace like it already, and so had returned it. Well, wouldn't he have needed a receipt to return it? It didn't show up on the receipt that I have that there was any return.
I don't know if we actually got anything accomplished, other than to bring my knowledge out into the open, and took away some more of the titillating secrecy from this emotional affair.
Does anyone know how long these things usually run?
If his contract on the secret cell phone is really about to run out, then he, I am guessing, got it about two years ago, and how long before that did they start messing around or whatever? So, I am thinking it is close to three years now.
Surely with it so in the open, part of the fun of hiding from L is gone.
Unless they are clinging to each other like drowning rats from a sinking ship, and neither will let go first.
Could that momentum keep them on this course for the next three or four years???
Dang mlc roller coaster, it's a bunch of bullcrap.
Do I still have hope??
I mean, he says he is going to be with me for the rest of his life.
Last night, my H had to go on another surveillance thing, and said at the last minute he was going to take my car. He saw the look on my face and wanted to know why there was a problem with it. I said there was no problem, but I did not like the idea of him having the "secret cell phone" in MY car. He said you can search me, I don't have it on me, but of course, it is most likely in his locker at work, so of course he could have it once he gets to work, anyway. He got so angry with me, but I am getting tired of not being able to speak my mind about this mess. I mean if he has bad intentions towards our future, well he would have them, anyway. He stormed off to work, even though he did hug and kiss me goodbye, and said that's all right I don't need anything from you!! I thought that sounded kind of juvenile.
Well, I called him after a few hours, to help keep him awake during the extra shift like I have been doing at his request, and it was as though nothing was ever even said by either of us.
What the heck gives with that??
And he was okay with me when he got home and when he was leaving for work this morning.
I think he is trying to drive me nuts!!
Is he just having a problem with letting go of ow??
Is it possible she won't let him be??
He said she went back to her H, though I don't know that this is true or not.
So, I am getting a little bolder when I say stuff to him, I don't want him to rest too easy, and think I am a stupid person, who doesn't know what's what.
Hey, cat, Hey deuxlie, I just went and read your posts before I replied, and cat I am so sorry that yours is coming to this end, I have seen so many similarities in our sitches, with them both being cops. I must say, though, that you are handling things remarkably well, you and your kids will know how gracious their mother is, and was through all this. Obviously your son sees it already.
Deuxlie, thanks for stopping by, and I did have a great Mother's day. My S actually made lunch for me all by himself. And he gave me breakfast in bed. H had to work. Also, I have to tell you that I, too, have that snarky streak in me, and my filters don't work as well as I could wish. I bite my tongue alot.
I guess things are going well, our S said this morning that he thinks his F maybe isn't messing around anymore, that he has seemed so much different over the past few months. I have been busy with trying to help out as much as possible with his family, his F had to had heart surgery, and then they discovered he had colon cancer, and had surgery for that, and then they said it has spread and is in his lymph nodes, so finally they started treatment for it yesterday, and he feels stronger already. H's brother had a mild heart attack, and had to have surgery, and his mother has medical problems, and I take her to the doc when she needs me to, and I pick up stuff they need, and just try to help out whenever. I am starting to get a little caught up with our finances, so that makes me feel a little less stressed, thank God, because the stress from that and our sitch, and his family was taking a toll on MY health. H is being less of an a** to me, so that is nice.
So, that is how my sitch is going now. The weather is beautiful here, thank God, it isn't hot yet.
Aww. The BEST breakfasts ever are those made by the kids on Mother's Day! Your S takes such good care of Mom.
Maybe all the health problems with H's F and brother kind of triggered a reality check and he's finally figuring out what is really important. Either way, the change in his behavior (ACTION!) has got to be a relief.
Keep taking care of you, sweetie, ya know about that using the oxygen mask on yourself first or you're no good to anyone.
Glad the weather "somewhere out there..." is beautiful. It finally stopped storming here and we had a delicious cool front come through. Dreading the summer heat [pits of hell] here as well, gonna go southern belle hat shopping ;-). Maybe a parasol... hmmmmmmmmmmmm.
It just amazes me how much alike our sitches are except for the cop thing.
How are you doing? Has H got rid of the phone yet.
I have the same thing going on with my H's mom. His Dad did pass in December. Now his Mom is dying of cancer. It adds so much stress to an already fragile M but I don't mind helping with her at all and I am the most available to her. Im'e also the only one she won't go bullistic on if you tell her something she doesn't want to hear.
talk later.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Hey, all, I hope you are all doing okay or better.
I guess things here are going alright. I don't know if my H has gotten rid of the other phone yet, soon I hope if he hasn't. He ocasionally admits now when he is being a butthead.
He seems very grateful that I help out so much with his parents, and I hope with the little health problems he is starting to have, he will see that it is best to make what he has better, instead of thinking that ow would stick with him if he got something major wrong with him. He has high blood sugar and is going to have to start monitoring his levels, he has high blood pressure, and last week he had a nuclear stress test. So, who knows how that will turn out?
He doesn't use the awful tone of voice with me he used to use as often, now it's only when he is very frustrated with me. But I let him know that it hurts when he makes fun of me, or speaks to me like that. He does know that I still don't really trust him, and that he has to earn my trust. He speaks of the future, and of things we'll do in say five or ten years, so maybe he is thinking of sticking around.
Who knows what the heck the future holds?
Now I will go and check out everybody else's situation, with hopes that they are doing better.
