BT,

Do you remember when you first started posting here and I told you that this was going to take a long time?

MLC is hard.

And....

It is not your problem.

You need to learn how to GAL without your wife.

You are going to have to turn a blind eye to her antics and not react, and act as it you don't give a damn.

Pretend she is a room-mate, not your wife.

Be civil, and courteous but do not invade her privacy, or ask her any questions, or ask where she is going.

You need to protect yourself financially also.

Your credit cards, the ones where you are the primary and she is an authorized user, remove her name.

Close accounts that you do not need.

Keep records of all bills, mortgage payments, etc.

Open an individual account for yourself and start saving.

I am not trying to scare you, but MLC'ers have absolutely no regard for anyone else except themselves.

They do not care about their future, and they become as irresponsible as teenagers.

And.....

DO NOT tell your wife you are doing this.

And if she is reading these posts, you had best act quickly.

She does not know she is in MLC.

So any idea of trying to sit down with her and explain things is a complete waste of time.

Trying to get her ot a councellor or a program is also a waste of time.

To her, her mind is made up and she will live her life however she damn well chooses to .

You will be the scapegoat for everything wrong in her life.

You will be the target of her anger.

Let me reiterate at this point.....

This is not your problem.

Your children are your concern.

They need one sane parent.

You must never bad mouth her to them.

They are not involved, so keep them out of it.

So how must you behave?

You are going to have a good attitude.

You are not going to get all mamby pamby or needy.

That type of behavior does not attract a Woman.

You are going to be strong.

You can vent here, but NEVER to her or her friends or family, EVER.

You are not going to let her under your skin.

The Woman you fell in love with is now on a mental vacation.

My Husband was in MLC for over 5 years.

It is hard, and painful and mentally challenging, BUT you can do this and you will get through to the other side.

MLC is not a death sentence and neither is Divorce.

Many people here have been dealing with the aftermath of MLC for a very long time.

Standing is not for everyone, but you have to choose one or the other.

Make a choice.

Stick to it.

Try it out.

You can always change your mind later.

I will let you absorb this for now, and then we can go over more tomorrow.

There can be no testimony without a test.
I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.