Hi, Emily. I think I can kind of relate to how you feel. My H and I were S'ed for close to 3 years. He just moved back in about 3 weeks ago. A TON of waffling going on in my sitch, too.
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I worry that I am becoming the WAS, could that be true?
It could be true, and you have a right to feel everything you do. Your H has given you NO SOLID reason to believe him. His ACTIONS have not seemed to ever support his words.
However, the only way you will become a WAS is if YOU CHOOSE to do so. I struggled many, many times with this decision myself, but in the end, I knew I wanted to be absolutely 100% sure that I did everything possible to save my M. Even if that meant giving my H another chance he probably didn't entirely deserve.
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SO what the heck do I do?
You do what you believe in your mind and in your heart is right for YOU, and no one else.
If you choose to proceed with the D, then do not let H's WORDS get in the way. Do what you have to do to move forward in your life.
If you choose to give him one more shot, then make it on YOUR terms. HE HAS TO KNOW THAT YOU MEAN BUSINESS. He has to know that this will be HIS LAST CHANCE. Furthermore, he must know that he has to ACT ON HIS WORDS. No more empty promises. No more hollow words. You need to see ACTION; He has to SHOW it to you. He has to make the effort. It CANNOT be all you.
(((Emily)))
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
