A decision has to be made, and I am the one who must make it.
I am the one in control now (well sort of). I worry that I am becoming the WAS, could that be true? I know these demons are not mine to fight, but I feel so called to stand, although I have to try to stand in a different way now. I am unsure of how to proceed.
I talked to H lastnight, after a very painful conversation, I am left well confused. He insists he does NOT want a D. Yet he refuses to change.
SO what the heck do I do? Pack up my emotional luggage and run away... or do I just step into the shadows and watch? Do I stay? I can't imagine anything more than trouble if I stay.
I thought about changing my phone number tonight, to prevent him from calling, and making it easier for me to walk away. I tried to explain my feelings, I tried to explain how I thought a D would help our sitch. He can't hear me yet, and I am tired of my words falling on deaf ears. He is with her today, he went home to her lastnight, after crying to me on the phone. I just don't get it, what is wrong with HIM?
